Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’

Who are you…who are you. Are you Mukuru?

An aboriginal elder queries Richard Chaimberlain’s character David Burton in Peter Weir’s film The Last Wave (aka Black Rain). Burton thought he knew, but he had no idea!

Who are you? Do you know where you leave off, and where everyone else begins? When I took up the practice of meditation, I was instructed to pay attention to the thoughts that passed through my mind during the course of the day; to be ‘mindful’. It was a little overwhelming, discovering just how many thoughts I had, and many seemingly random. ‘I wonder what the price of gold is today’, (I don’t invest). ‘The Red Sox could use a good left-handed starting pitcher’, (I don’t follow sports). ‘Do these jeans make my butt look fat?’, (I don’t have much of a butt). Early on, in meditation, you learn that you are also psychic, and that many of the thoughts you think are not even your own. But which are which?!

‘Know thyself’ is an old saying, but it was a difficult thing to undertake. Most of my adult life, up to that point, I had been involved in close physical/emotional relationships and I couldn’t honestly separate their thoughts, emotions and energy (vibration) from my own.

So I had to make a choice. Do I keep ‘playing house’ or do I seriously give this practice of meditation my full attention? Oh, nobody was twisting my arm, and I wasn’t trying to comply with some ashram rules. It was just a choice that was clear to me at that stage of my life. I chose the latter, because I wanted to know who I was, all alone, when nobody else was around.

I spent three years outside of a relationship, and celibate (though I might have jumped at the chance to break that streak). And during that time, I learned what it was like to live in my own energy, to think my own thoughts; I got to know ‘me’. I found that many of my mundane thoughts were, in fact, my own. But many were not. But most importantly, I learned to like the person I was. I wasn’t perfect, but I tried hard and I meant well. With that knowledge, I could be perfectly happy alone.

Then something wonderful happened. All the fear and insecurity I’d had with me my whole life dropped away. If I was in a relationship, that was great. If I wasn’t, well, that was great too. I found this allowed me to love more deeply than ever before, because I didn’t have to hold back anything. I didn’t have to fear that my love wouldn’t last forever. I knew that it wouldn’t; nothing in this world ever does! I knew to appreciate it while I could, and when it was over, to wish the other well on their way. But the real beauty is that you don’t stop loving them, once the relationship is over. The love is unconditional; it’s not predicated on being in a relationship.

I enjoy being in a relationship. I love the sharing, the intimacy and the humor that springs from human interaction. You can be whole, all by yourself, but you can be even more with others. But I still take time to be alone with myself, to stay in touch with who I am. Because it is this feeling of ‘wholeness’ that makes that level of unconditional love possible.


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We have a lot of thoughts rattling around in our heads, but did you know that not all of them are your own?  You are psychic whether you are aware of the fact or not.  And, you’re picking up thoughts from the people in your close physical proximity, and from people you are emotionally connected to.  Those connections can be positive – people you love or admire, or negative – people you dislike or who frighten or intimidate you.  We are used to thinking that our thoughts are our own, and so, when a thought pops into our head, we don’t question where it came from, we just accept that it came from some corner of our mind.  This can be quite upsetting, if it’s some weird or dark thought.

If you practice meditation, your own thoughts get quieter, so, thoughts you pick up from others are more obvious.  You could say that you become more aware of your psychic perceptions.  Here’s a true story to illustrate this.

I was living in Boston and was having lunch in the gardens around Copley Square.  I took a little time to meditate, and I had a very high meditation.  When I was finished, I was in a beautiful state of mind, happy and carefree.  It was payday, and I needed to deposit my check before the deposit cutoff time, so it would be credited that day, so I headed for the bank.


The line was long, and there was only one teller, but I didn’t care.  I was in such a happy state of mind, I didn’t mind at all.  Then, a construction worker came in and stood in line behind me.  His vibratory energy was pretty terrible.  He’d probably had a 3 beer lunch and he was in a real hurry to deposit his own paycheck.  The line wasn’t moving fast enough for him, so, he would inch up behind me to where he was nearly touching me.  I would inch forward so that I would pick up less of his energy, and then he would inch forward again.  It was pretty painful, and I could feel all the beautiful energy I’d picked up from my meditation draining away.


Finally, I was at the front of the line, but the woman who went before me had numerous transactions and was taking a long time at the teller’s window.  The guy behind me was getting more and more angry as the minutes ticked away.  At one point, it looked like she was finished and started to step away, but then she remembered one more thing she meant to do, and stepped back.  When she did this I had this thought ‘YOU F’ING C[word]’.  Now, I grew up in a household where my father cussed constantly.  So, I’ve heard those words before, and possibly even said them in jest, but I was shocked that I had let my beautiful consciousness slip so far, so fast, that I could think such a thing with real anger behind it.

Then, from behind me, the construction worker uttered under his breath (but loud enough for the woman to hear) ‘YOU F’ING C[word]’.  Again, I was shocked, but relieved to realize that it hadn’t been my thought after all, but it had passed through my mind as clear as a bell.

If you are curious about how many of your thoughts aren’t your own, here is a little technique.  On an ordinary day, notice how much you are thinking, and what types of things you are thinking about.  Then, when you have a day off, go out into the wilderness, preferably somewhere where not very many people go, somewhere off the beaten path, find a place to sit and just hang out there for a while.  Then, take note of how much you are thinking, and what types of things you are thinking about.  I’ll bet you find you are thinking many less thoughts, and the thoughts you do have will be happier and more positive.  Those are your own true thoughts.

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