I was on a subway train the other day, and a young woman across from me was reading a book called The How of Happiness. I don’t know much about the book but I like the title. She had her backpack on the seat next to her, which is how riders discourage others from sitting next to them. But it is pretty selfish, as open seats on a subway car are rare. A really tall guy got on and sat two seats away from her, but since he was so big, he spilled over into the seat with her backpack in it. She moved it incrementally.
She noticed that he was sitting on one of the straps of her backpack, and she made some comment to him about it. He replied something about how the backpack should not be on the seat in the first place. She countered with a comment about how his butt was taking up two seats. I guess she hasn’t gotten to the practical section of the book yet.
My heart goes out to people like this, because they are unhappy, and they don’t know why. They don’t know how much their attitude and behavior contributes to their unhappiness, and that it is within their ability to change that at any time.
When we focus too much on ourselves, that is when we are the least happy. We’re selfish, self-centered, ego-centric. We are identifying with our limited self, our ego, rather than our infinite self, our true nature. It’s like we have a really really huge foot, that we’ve crammed into a really really small shoe. We are in incredible pain, and yet we don’t know how much pain we are in, because it has always been like that. If we ever manage to take that shoe off, even temporarily, it’s a revelation!
To be happier, focus outside of yourself. Be kind to others, be generous, be funny, be helpful, be thankful for all you have and all others have done for you. Do this a little bit, and you’ll feel a little happier. Make this your way of life, and you will be a lot happier, all the time.
I’m not sure what scientific explanations the book gives for this, but in the world of meditation, we know that these thoughts and behaviours raise the frequency of our vibratory energy. As your ‘vibe’ raises, so does your level of consciousness. The higher your level of consciousness, the closer you are to your infinite self, your true nature, and the happier you will be; because our true nature is absolute bliss. We’re just not very aware of it.